So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize