ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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