if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
