god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
