The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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