Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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