i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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