Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
