i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Someone came in the potted fern
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
