Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i think my cat just said my name.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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