So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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