Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
