Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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