Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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