Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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