Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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