I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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