then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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