right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
