Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
