Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
