Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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