Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
