i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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