The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize