When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
