HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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