it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
we're making bets on your personal life
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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