you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
