I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
