i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i think my cat just said my name.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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