apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
