I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
