Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
