I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
