I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
