I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
