from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
