I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
