the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
