I hate your face
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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