fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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