some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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