Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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