Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
