let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
