Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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