Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
