we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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