If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
