I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
