He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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