I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
