apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
