Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
