i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
