Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
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Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
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So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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