I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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