can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
