ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
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