He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
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curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
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Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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