I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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