I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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