just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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