Dual....:-)
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize