I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
