On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You need Xanax blowdarts
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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