you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
