Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(469): View more from Texas

I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...

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(919): View more from North Carolina

anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi

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(941): View more from Florida

He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation

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(224): View more from Illinois

Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.

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(951): View more from California

I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?

(1-859): View more from Kentucky

It's after 5, it's not day drinking.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.

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